I drank the ink poured down the sink then sank a little lower I wish to think with lenses pink I’ve wisdom of a knower But I confess I am a mess as shown within my stanza So I shall dress my deep distress with adjective organza
Tailor Fit
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I drank the ink poured down the sink then sank a little lower I wish to think with lenses pink I’ve wisdom of a knower But I confess I am a mess as shown within my stanza So I shall dress my deep distress with adjective organza
I gave the voices your tongue to hear their words in the voice of another. How differently I hate myself when the recital of criticism takes on a separate tone. The ex-plosives are missed as your snipes detonate in an uglier timbre. The richness of that trill is taken as an ever renewing esteem tithe, gradually depreciating my self-belief’s valuations so the bare bones can be given back to the earth cost free. Would the words you made me delete have made any difference? They’ll greet me when I finally give into the bitterness and momentarily regret all I hadn’t the chance to regret before.
Locked behind bones wrapped in brocade an indelicate escape plea screaming inward for a reply. This bustle will surely outgrow the short lived modesty debut. One could claim you're on a crusade offending nobles in a spree until it's protests can outcry, overpower, your own deep woe - setting you down, trapping anew. Perhaps you'll set to work, or trade Or marry yourself a marquis. Resolve your fate with one more lie: he undressed you patiently slow then treats you as more than a screw
Knotted tightly in my psyche is a feral call: a plea to return to an unvisited place where unfamiliar arms can bring rest. Routine saps the life from my soul - within safety it writhes in silent agony Lacking nourishment unknown - unnamed. Hunger looks inward to survive famine. Ravenous claws stripping only prime cuts - psychological filet, served bloody and rare. I will be the last to walk away from me. The world unrecognisably cold and damp under the footsteps of a more fulfilling life
I let you scar me in answer to an askless question. I revelled ingloriously as each misguided infliction scored my futile seekings. A major that played first through fifth in sweet disharmony and lines of minor indiscretion. Tartan lay across my skin in various stages of healing. I held gauze in my teeth as you layered Razor wire upon my wounds - how would I bleed if not by your hand? Bandaged in the unresolved then left to lick free the salt while watching your heels meet the horizon in goodbye
Ripped into strips of rough cut sinew Glittered in silver crisscross lines Ready to be dipped in thick glue And rebuilt layer by meticulous layer. This new shape is for the fickle faith That is chanted until made belief Or assumed to be the matter's fact - The curves are chosen in this lie To fit the outline it previously outgrew. The substance that the years cultivated Do not fulfill the quoted order of being So are left to rot in the garbage While the adhesive sets atop mourning To hide it from the surface view.
Intuitively I knew to let it go before My mind fixated on it too much. Perhaps I could distract myself Entirely from my own insecurity that's Reaching it's clawed hand up From the pits of my stomach to scratch my Esophagus as though it's itching. Controlling the impulse is pointless because - Take that apostrophe and that space - I'm Perfect
Do you have to scrub your skin too? Scratch off it’s surface over and over Until twenty burning layers away From the tracks of unwanted caress? Remember as the acid seeps through And you lose that arrogant composure, That I am only just beginning to play With these things that helps me ‘process.’ Have you ever had to show your face When no-one knows the predator won? Force a smile, a dead eyed, dull grin, Hoping when friends hug you don’t flinch. Centre of the tooth, with nerve in place, I’ll drill a hole through every single one, Thread through each a fine steel string To pull them slow with a hand crank winch. When you’ve walked passed each other Have you been filled with complete terror? Did you grasp tightly at your fabric clothes As though they’ll protect from the shame? It’s so gratifying to watch as you suffer. The chemicals turned your skin to leather It’s time to cut that wailing tongue into rows I hope I don’t strike a vein, I like this game. Does the night bring back all the memories That weigh you down with its terrifying grip? Do you hope that by the morning sunrise Your heart would stop it’s painful beating? I’d quit the whining, there are no remedies As I watch you choke behind glued lips. I can’t stand to be devoured by your eyes But a pin prick will remove their seeing. Are your days filled with asking why? Blaming yourself for being the prey, Breaking yourself down ‘til you barely exist Pretending it never hurt you that much. I’m sure you’re all but ready to die? But you don’t look like your inner decay! I’ll let you decompose in your own shit Because a touch is not just a touch.
Don’t pull the covers away; I’m not ready to face the world And all of its sharp edges. I’m warm under this comfort blanket, Safe under my safety net, Hidden from those peering, prying eyes. I’d rather be smothered in poly-cotton Than drown in the darkness out there. Don’t pull the covers away; I’m not prepared to face the world And all of its harsh voices. I’m calm under this comfort blanket, Safe under my safety net, Hidden from those intrusive, prying eyes. I’d rather be veiled in poly-cotton Than exposed the judgment out there. Don’t pull the covers away; I’m not equipped to face the world I’ll just crumple at its feet. I’m serene under this comfort blanket, Safe under my safety net, Here I cant be vilified for being. I’d rather be concealed in poly-cotton Than pretend I want to play this game.