The End 15-8-15

We enter the room.
Car running in the center,
Fuel tank pierced,
Petrol dripping.
He sits in the driver’s seat,
You sit next to him.
I find a match,
A small piece of wood
And with the first
I light the second.
Wood, unlit end first
Pushed under the car.
I get in the backseat.
I cry, I'm scared.
You look back.
You nod.
Smoke. No flames.
No noise.
No end.

We enter the room.
Car running in the center,
Fuel take pierced,
Petrol dripping.
You take my hand
Comforting my cries.
I nod.
He sits in the driver’s seat.
You sit in the passenger’s seat.
I light a plank of wood,
I place it below the car.
I sit in the backseat.
I wait and wait.
I'm crying and crying.
You reach back.
You give me your hand.
You tell me you're sure,
That you'll be there,
You'll hold my hand to the end.
That you've seen it,
The cruelty of the world,
That it's enough.
We wait.
No smoke, no fire.
No end.

We enter the room.
Car running in the center,
Fuel tank pierced,
Petrol dripping.
You hold me close.
Lead me to the backseat.
I sit, crying and broken.
You sit beside me,
Warm, comforting.
You hold me while the pain
Escapes through the silent,
Distraught, and shattered sobs.
He used the wood,
To trail,
The petrol, his instrument,
The final piece of art.
He lights the end.
He walks to the car.
He sits in the driver’s seat.
You stroke my hair as you watch
Flames dancing in smaller circles
That stop. Too Early.
No continuance.
No End.

We enter the room.
Car running in the center,
Fuel tank pierced.
Petrol dripping.
You tell me it's okay.
I listen.
He takes my hand.
He leads me forward.
He knows what comes after.
You sit in the driver’s seat.
He and I trail the petrol.
One straight line.
We light the end.
He sits in the backseat.
I sit next to him.
Calm, collected.
You say nothing.
You mean nothing.
You show nothing.
He holds me in an embrace.
Kisses the top of my head.
Tightens his grip around me.
I know he loves me.
You mean nothing in your silence.
I look at you,
Silently beg for a word,
A murmur, a mumble.
I ask for your hand.
You move.
​You open the door.
I beg you with my tears.
You put your leg out.
I crumple into him.
You leave the car.
His grip holds me.
I call out your name.
He comforts me.
You walk away.
He wipes every tear.
You pause once.
I look up.
You walk on.
He pulls me closer.
You leave the room.
The fire spreads,
Engulfs - Consumes.
You close the door.
You regret.

The car explodes.
The flames dominate.
He guides me on.
He knows this place.
He tells me he missed me.
I grip his hand.
This is it.
The End.

It Had to be Said

It had to be said,
No more lies, or stories,
No more running away.
It just had to be said.
Or it never would,
The explosion would have killed,
Crucified, murdered, burned,
The last aspects of ourselves.

It had to be said,
No more pretending,
No more faking everything,
It had to be said.
Or we'd never know.
If we'd have been free,
To fell, to love, to cherish,
Anything ever again.

It had to be said,
No more secrets,
No more twisting the truth,
It had to be said.
Or I would have been dragged.
Pulled away from me,
The remnants left behind,
contorted and burned.

It had to be said,
No more sleepless nights,
No more pointless arguments,
It had to be said.
Or I will be the guilty party.
I will be the one who lied,
I'd have been the one who hurt,
Who burned everything in your eyes.

It had to be said,
No more silence, or quiet,
No more deceit.
It. Had. To. Be. Said.
Or I'd be someone I can't be.
I'd want what I can't have,
I'd love what isn't mine,
But not what is.

It had to be said,
No more tears, They'll dry,
No more hating, hurting.
It had to be said.

I Don’t Want to Sleep

If I close my eyes,
I'll lose that image,
Your smile will fade.

If the night consumes me,
I'll have to wait again,
Anticipate the morning,
Where I'll be closer again.

If the rest encompasses me,
I'll not be able to feel,
The soft movement of your breath,
The steady rhythm of your heart,
the tenderness of your touch.

If I fall into a dream,
Will I remember you're there?
Will you leave me in the night?
Will I move too far away?
Would you let go of me?
Would I even notice?

If I go to sleep,
Will you still look at me the same?
Would the night become a dream?
Will I still feel the same?
Will you still smile at me?
Will I wake up at home?
Will I still be happy?

I don't want to sleep.
This is the best dream I've had.
It can't stop.