Knotted tightly in my psyche is a feral call:
a plea to return to an unvisited place
where unfamiliar arms can bring rest.
Routine saps the life from my soul -
within safety it writhes in silent agony
Lacking nourishment unknown - unnamed.
Hunger looks inward to survive famine.
Ravenous claws stripping only prime cuts -
psychological filet, served bloody and rare.
I will be the last to walk away from me.
The world unrecognisably cold and damp
under the footsteps of a more fulfilling life
Walking in the shadows of your footprints
Trying to pretend I can see you still
Hoping I just might
Knowing I won't.
Wishing the trail leads somewhere final
Fearing there's an end
Hiding from the present
Abandoning the past.
Simplicity: a joy that's been lost,
Processes interrupt its ease,
Disturbs its function.
Simplicity: something I currently crave,
People, tasks, processes, all prevent this,
Make my life more difficult.
Success: something I haven't already achieved,
But am now prevented from achieving further,
By those who decide my life blindly.
Success: the necessary goal of my life,
That despite all my hard work,
Others strive to prevent.
Reason: the motivation to fight until now,
The point of working so hard,
The future I want to attain.
Reason: the drive I've now lost,
The point clouded in beatings.
But one day I'll find it again.