Question Touch

Do you have to scrub your skin too?
Scratch off it’s surface over and over
Until twenty burning layers away
From the tracks of unwanted caress?

Remember as the acid seeps through
And you lose that arrogant composure,
That I am only just beginning to play
With these things that helps me ‘process.’

Have you ever had to show your face
When no-one knows the predator won?
Force a smile, a dead eyed, dull grin,
Hoping when friends hug you don’t flinch.

Centre of the tooth, with nerve in place,
I’ll drill a hole through every single one,
Thread through each a fine steel string
To pull them slow with a hand crank winch.

When you’ve walked passed each other
Have you been filled with complete terror?
Did you grasp tightly at your fabric clothes
As though they’ll protect from the shame?

It’s so gratifying to watch as you suffer.
The chemicals turned your skin to leather
It’s time to cut that wailing tongue into rows
I hope I don’t strike a vein, I like this game.

Does the night bring back all the memories
That weigh you down with its terrifying grip?
Do you hope that by the morning sunrise
Your heart would stop it’s painful beating?

I’d quit the whining, there are no remedies
As I watch you choke behind glued lips.
I can’t stand to be devoured by your eyes
But a pin prick will remove their seeing.

Are your days filled with asking why?
Blaming yourself for being the prey,
Breaking yourself down ‘til you barely exist
Pretending it never hurt you that much.

I’m sure you’re all but ready to die?
But you don’t look like your inner decay!
I’ll let you decompose in your own shit
Because a touch is not just a touch.

Coping

Goodbye bottle number one,
You were not full enough,
My glass sat half empty,
My mind still half full.
Bottle one, you were sweet,
You were smooth.
A hint of cinnamon,
A calmed anger,
A giggly outlook,
For a moment.

Well hello bottle number two,
And bottle three.
Bottle two not even half full,
Bottle three not barely touched.
Let's share stories,
Laugh, cry, shout, scream.
I don't like your flavour
Bottle three,
But bottle two is lacking.

Which mixer now?
Eenie, meenie - this, that,
Why choose, I'll swap,
I'll change it up,
That bottle isn't important,
Two and three are!
I might sleep tonight,
Or I might wake up
Over and over,
Just like last night.

Can I spend every night here?
Numb enough to smile,
Broken enough to cry.

A Poisoned Womb

She disgusts me,
She boils my blood,
She makes sick,
She makes me hate.

Her poisoned womb made you love her,
Made you believe she's the best in the world,
Made you blind to all her faults,
Made you favour her always.

She angers me,
She grinds my gears,
She makes me miserable,
She makes me hurt.

Her poisonous personality put you in danger,
Neglected to keep you safe when it mattered
Made you endure this suffering,
Made you feel you couldn't speak up.

She makes me cry,
She makes me seethe,
She makes me depressed,
She is despicable.

Her poisoned childhood has ruined yours,
Made you vulnerable because she's sick,
Made you prey to her predator,
Made you victim to her selfishness.

She disgusts me,
She boils my blood,
She makes sick,
She makes me hate.
But,
She fucked up,
She made you hurt.
So,
I'll pick up the pieces,
I'll keep you safe,
I'll give you joy,
I'll show you love.

Lily Flower in the Storm

Small, fragile, and bursting with colour,
Sweet Lily flower sits beneath storm clouds,
But only sees the sun,
Bowing to its beauty,
Dancing petals across memories,
Before the rain that's soon to come.

Though the water weighs heavy,
And storm acts unrelenting,
Dear Lily flower stands firm,
As the drops pluck slowly at her soil.

Had I known before,
The hurt that rain would cause,
I'd have marched with my umbrella,
Held steadfast above her smile,
And bore the rain myself.

The soil she laid in was rotten,
And littered with debris,
So I softly moved the compost,
And pulled out all the weeds.

Now her roots have settled,
In the new garden she'll now grow,
Where I can watch over her,
And shield her from the storms.
Bare witness to her strength,
And the beauty that she holds.

Divorcing Deceit

Where does the honest value lie?
You measure it with paper,
The weight of metal in your pocket,
Disregarding the real appraisal.
Happiest to assign digits to all things:
Interaction: reduced to a number,
Friendship: summed up by addition.
You see price tags above our heads,
Exploitation in our situations,
Yet opportunity in our kindness.
To give and give freely,
Is not possessed in your nature,
I'm almost certain of it.
You miss the enjoyment of value,
When mercenary needs control,
To take and take greedily,
Is to abuse the true treasures:
People

Cream White

Cream white skin,
They possessed,
Innocence, purity, trust,
Why must children possess
Everything you desire?
They are perfection, perfection,
Yet you seek to destroy them.

When they sleep,
Only dreams should grace them,
Not fear, not torment,
Just dreams,
Of new bikes, toys, happiness.

They are perfect,
Not worth giving any pain,
Perfect, beautiful,
They don't deserve it.

Yet you hurt them,
destroy their innocence,
Burn their purity,
Torture the child,
Kill their absolution.

They are beautiful,
Gorgeous, children,
Even after you're pain.
And no-one could stop it.
You hurt them.
You destroy their person-hood,
Their lives
And no-one can give that back.
NO ONE