Lost Reason

Simplicity: a joy that's been lost,
Processes interrupt its ease,
Disturbs its function.
Simplicity: something I currently crave,
People, tasks, processes, all prevent this,
Make my life more difficult.

Success: something I haven't already achieved,
But am now prevented from achieving further,
By those who decide my life blindly.
Success: the necessary  goal of my life,
That despite all my hard work,
Others strive to prevent.

Reason: the motivation to fight until now,
The point of working so hard,
The future I want to attain.
Reason: the drive I've now lost,
The point clouded in beatings.
But one day I'll find it again.

Internal Anguish

For so long I've formed pain,
Held it within my four walls,
Within the structure of myself.

I learned this to be unhealthy,
Destructive to my personality,
So I believed expression was key,
To let it all flow freely,
Unfiltered, from my lips.

You encouraged me to talk,
I reciprocated such action,
Believing you willing to listen,
And knowing my ears are open.

As I learned to open up,
Began to find release,
I faced judgement, more pain.
You couldn't deal with what I held back.

I'll be no fool again, like this,
All previously thought progression,
Now clearly regression.
So I apologize for my blindness.

I'll not let the world know my pain,
I'll keep my internal anguish,
Even if I crumble inside, then out,
It must be less than external hate.

I'll retreat back to myself,
Keep in my bubble, where I'm safe.
Never to be scolded again,
By a fire that others fuelled.

I'll embrace my internal anguish,
Understand it as my only companion,
Never to be betrayed by tongues,
Relaying information untrue,
Or turned, or twisted, or even honest.
People cannot cope with my pain,
So I'll no longer seek advice.

Time to Stop Talking

Sometimes I need to,
Sometimes I can't say,
All of the most important things.
But I think that now,
It's time to stop talking.
I need not to run my mouth,
I need not to say all those things,
Because soon,
You'll start to hate me,
If you don't already,
And if you do already,
That's justified
But I think that now,
It's time to stop talking.

Time to be Fixed

A delay is a delay,
But a delay is not an end.
An end is an end,
But an end is not a delay.

A delay can progress,
An end is complete,
The mind can progress,
And life is complete.

It's time to stop the delay,
Allow the mind to progress.
It's time to end the struggle,
Allow my life to feel complete.

It's time to fix the delay,
It's time to be fixed.