Tag Archives: hate

Divine Misinterpretation

Posted on by
Reply 
Burn me to beyond my flesh,
Until charcoal becomes my bones,
Prepared to fall into unskilled hands,
And trace amateur musings on cheap paper.​
Remake my ashes into your altar,
Ready to receive sacrilegious homages,
Prayers filled to the brim with debasement,
As you pick your false God, or God’s,
And punish each other for differing choices.

Betray my actions with your memories,
Portray as a fictitious being of your design,
Claim dominion over your perception,
And pass on your contortions to your kin.
Teach them of my misery and woe,
Belittle my mistakes to lowly choice,
A haphazard misstep by misstep,
That led to inevitable brimstone.

Pretend me to be a sinner in life,
And a fiery withered soul in death,
As you picture thick sulfuric gasses,
Turn and swirl in my remnants of lung,
Catching breathless behind my tongue.
But don’t scream when your lack of reformation,
Stemming from absence of self-reflection,
Leaves you burnt on my named headstone.

A Poisoned Womb

Posted on by
Reply 
She disgusts me,
She boils my blood,
She makes sick,
She makes me hate.

Her poisoned womb made you love her,
Made you believe she's the best in the world,
Made you blind to all her faults,
Made you favour her always.

She angers me,
She grinds my gears,
She makes me miserable,
She makes me hurt.

Her poisonous personality put you in danger,
Neglected to keep you safe when it mattered
Made you endure this suffering,
Made you feel you couldn't speak up.

She makes me cry,
She makes me seethe,
She makes me depressed,
She is despicable.

Her poisoned childhood has ruined yours,
Made you vulnerable because she's sick,
Made you prey to her predator,
Made you victim to her selfishness.

She disgusts me,
She boils my blood,
She makes sick,
She makes me hate.
But,
She fucked up,
She made you hurt.
So,
I'll pick up the pieces,
I'll keep you safe,
I'll give you joy,
I'll show you love.

Internal Anguish

Posted on by
Reply 
For so long I've formed pain,
Held it within my four walls,
Within the structure of myself.

I learned this to be unhealthy,
Destructive to my personality,
So I believed expression was key,
To let it all flow freely,
Unfiltered, from my lips.

You encouraged me to talk,
I reciprocated such action,
Believing you willing to listen,
And knowing my ears are open.

As I learned to open up,
Began to find release,
I faced judgement, more pain.
You couldn't deal with what I held back.

I'll be no fool again, like this,
All previously thought progression,
Now clearly regression.
So I apologize for my blindness.

I'll not let the world know my pain,
I'll keep my internal anguish,
Even if I crumble inside, then out,
It must be less than external hate.

I'll retreat back to myself,
Keep in my bubble, where I'm safe.
Never to be scolded again,
By a fire that others fuelled.

I'll embrace my internal anguish,
Understand it as my only companion,
Never to be betrayed by tongues,
Relaying information untrue,
Or turned, or twisted, or even honest.
People cannot cope with my pain,
So I'll no longer seek advice.

Will I Understand?

Posted on by
Reply 
If love is shown in red,
Then why do my eyes burn,
Why do they melt, when I see it,
Why is LOVE shown as I see anger?
As a tormenting pain inside,
Contorting, twisting, crippling,
Making me hate all that everyone sees as love.
Why is love shown as the color that induces death?
The color that drew an angel away.
The color that drew the last part,
Of my first love away?
How is love red when red stops?
It halts, intrudes with it's imposed rules,
Controlling the world as it moves.
Why is love red?

Betrothed to Betrayal

Posted on by
Reply 
In an Ivory gown, I waltz,
To meet my maker,
Or face my ultimate breaker.
In the eyes of all those I trust,
I see a conspiring plan,
To share, universally, the feelings,
In their new related form,
That originally came from my heart.
I vow to be there,
In sickness and in health,
And betroth myself to life,
Imprisonment by betrayal,
Regardless of my feelings,
Without notice of my honesty,
I marry myself to be hated,
Suspected by my spouse,
Harmed by my home bird.
Betrothed to my Betrayal.

Cream White

Posted on by
Reply 
Cream white skin,
They possessed,
Innocence, purity, trust,
Why must children possess
Everything you desire?
They are perfection, perfection,
Yet you seek to destroy them.

When they sleep,
Only dreams should grace them,
Not fear, not torment,
Just dreams,
Of new bikes, toys, happiness.

They are perfect,
Not worth giving any pain,
Perfect, beautiful,
They don't deserve it.

Yet you hurt them,
destroy their innocence,
Burn their purity,
Torture the child,
Kill their absolution.

They are beautiful,
Gorgeous, children,
Even after you're pain.
And no-one could stop it.
You hurt them.
You destroy their person-hood,
Their lives
And no-one can give that back.
NO ONE

Time to Stop Talking

Posted on by
Reply 
Sometimes I need to,
Sometimes I can't say,
All of the most important things.
But I think that now,
It's time to stop talking.
I need not to run my mouth,
I need not to say all those things,
Because soon,
You'll start to hate me,
If you don't already,
And if you do already,
That's justified
But I think that now,
It's time to stop talking.

Tell Me

Posted on by
Reply 
You listen,
Do words make sense?
Does it put you at ease?
Do you enjoy it?
Whose pain are you treating?
Do you hurt any less?
Does it help?
Is your mind not burning?
Does your head not spin?
Do you need confessions?
Does it make you thrive?
I need to know,
Does that keep you alive?
Would you share all your secrets?
Or at least tell me?
Or would you just listen?
Listen to my pain, and add it to yours?
Or maybe you don't?
Are you really listening?
Do you realise I'm talking?
Do you hear those painful things?
Do you hear what she is saying?
Do you realise she's broken?
Do you see she's shattered?
Are your eyes not open?
Can't you tell it's deeper?
That something's missing?
A meaning behind pain?
Or maybe not.

21/07/20–

Posted on by
Reply 
The water is rising,
It was at my ankles,
I could cope, even at my knees,
I could cope.
Now it's by my neck.
The temperature, not hot,
Not cold, not neither.
It's the grasp. Firm.
The push. Heavy.
I can't cope. Not this high,
Not when I can't breathe,
Not when I can't shout,
I can't call out.

The paralysis starts.
At first it's just numb.
It feels weird to move.
But I can do it.
It increases, debilitates, holds back.
First my head won't lift,
Then my legs curl up.
Then Freeze.
My core feels empty.
My arms wrap around me,
Embraced and unmoved.
I can't move, my will has gone.
My eyes shut, still.

The hatred boils,
At no-one outside,
Directed only inside,
Every word I say, wrong,
Every breath, too loud,
Every tear, pathetic,
Every ounce of pain, deserved.
No happiness owed,
Just hatred to the self.