Tag Archives: fear

Cream White

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Cream white skin,
They possessed,
Innocence, purity, trust,
Why must children possess
Everything you desire?
They are perfection, perfection,
Yet you seek to destroy them.

When they sleep,
Only dreams should grace them,
Not fear, not torment,
Just dreams,
Of new bikes, toys, happiness.

They are perfect,
Not worth giving any pain,
Perfect, beautiful,
They don't deserve it.

Yet you hurt them,
destroy their innocence,
Burn their purity,
Torture the child,
Kill their absolution.

They are beautiful,
Gorgeous, children,
Even after you're pain.
And no-one could stop it.
You hurt them.
You destroy their person-hood,
Their lives
And no-one can give that back.
NO ONE

Tell Me

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You listen,
Do words make sense?
Does it put you at ease?
Do you enjoy it?
Whose pain are you treating?
Do you hurt any less?
Does it help?
Is your mind not burning?
Does your head not spin?
Do you need confessions?
Does it make you thrive?
I need to know,
Does that keep you alive?
Would you share all your secrets?
Or at least tell me?
Or would you just listen?
Listen to my pain, and add it to yours?
Or maybe you don't?
Are you really listening?
Do you realise I'm talking?
Do you hear those painful things?
Do you hear what she is saying?
Do you realise she's broken?
Do you see she's shattered?
Are your eyes not open?
Can't you tell it's deeper?
That something's missing?
A meaning behind pain?
Or maybe not.

The Happy Slap and the Freight Train

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It was meant to be breakfast,
To kill the hangover, fix us up.
Then the happy slap came,
A worry, concern, conversed,
Inquired, checked, asked,
He told me you were low,
Images of the ground rising,
Swallowing you whole,
Appeared in my mind.
Common, but surprising.
I know the feeling all too well.

The freight train hit.
Your pain, in all its mental manifestations,
Dreams, longing for more,
For a physical affliction.
An emptiness formed inside me,
Guilt encapsulated me, held me,
That moment, I heard enough,
The detonator had been pulled,
You are too important,
Too vital to this world.

It Had to be Said

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It had to be said,
No more lies, or stories,
No more running away.
It just had to be said.
Or it never would,
The explosion would have killed,
Crucified, murdered, burned,
The last aspects of ourselves.

It had to be said,
No more pretending,
No more faking everything,
It had to be said.
Or we'd never know.
If we'd have been free,
To fell, to love, to cherish,
Anything ever again.

It had to be said,
No more secrets,
No more twisting the truth,
It had to be said.
Or I would have been dragged.
Pulled away from me,
The remnants left behind,
contorted and burned.

It had to be said,
No more sleepless nights,
No more pointless arguments,
It had to be said.
Or I will be the guilty party.
I will be the one who lied,
I'd have been the one who hurt,
Who burned everything in your eyes.

It had to be said,
No more silence, or quiet,
No more deceit.
It. Had. To. Be. Said.
Or I'd be someone I can't be.
I'd want what I can't have,
I'd love what isn't mine,
But not what is.

It had to be said,
No more tears, They'll dry,
No more hating, hurting.
It had to be said.

One More Bottle of Wine

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Let's get a bottle of wine and talk about it over dinner,
It's going to be a hard pill to swallow.
I'll have to stick to my guns.

In fact, let's get two bottles of wine, one each,
You will probably hate me for what I'll say.
I've got to, for me, for once, be truthful.

Screw it, let's get a third bottle of wine.
This will be too hard to say without a drink.
I can do this, but I don't know if you can.

Sod it, three bottles of wine, but no dinner,
I don't want to cook.
The truth already fills my mouth,
Already churns my stomach.
Everything is going to change beyond belief.

Right, okay, three bottles of wine,
And we'll talk over the phone.
I can't sit and watch the truth sodomise your heart.
I have to say it out loud though.

Never mind. No Wine. No Dinner. No Phone call.
Just talking, painful, pitiful talking.
About how I can't do this,
It's time to walk away.
Time to leave.

Where

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Where should I stand,
In the corner?
Head bowed
Trying to prove my guilty side,
That it was always right?

Where should I stand?
Behind the pews?
Hands clasped
Asking for forgiveness from a god
That I never believed.

Where should I stand?
In the middle of the ocean?
Chest tight
Breath choked out of my lungs,
like the truth.

Where should I stand?
On a sandy beach?
Toes spread
Celebrating my only victory of
Conquering my own mind.

Where should I stand?
Before your eyes?
Nervous - shaking
Waiting to be judged - scolded,
Applauded - hated - loved.

Where do I stand?

I Don’t Want to Sleep

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If I close my eyes,
I'll lose that image,
Your smile will fade.

If the night consumes me,
I'll have to wait again,
Anticipate the morning,
Where I'll be closer again.

If the rest encompasses me,
I'll not be able to feel,
The soft movement of your breath,
The steady rhythm of your heart,
the tenderness of your touch.

If I fall into a dream,
Will I remember you're there?
Will you leave me in the night?
Will I move too far away?
Would you let go of me?
Would I even notice?

If I go to sleep,
Will you still look at me the same?
Would the night become a dream?
Will I still feel the same?
Will you still smile at me?
Will I wake up at home?
Will I still be happy?

I don't want to sleep.
This is the best dream I've had.
It can't stop.