Every time I see you, I see potential, future, I see excellence in all you do. I wish you saw it, I wish you realised. Like the wings of a butterfly, You influence a change in the world, Without you, the world is broken. You offer uniqueness, Something only you give. Your heart is as big as your pain. And you're so much stronger, So much stronger than this. Please.
If love is shown in red, Then why do my eyes burn, Why do they melt, when I see it, Why is LOVE shown as I see anger? As a tormenting pain inside, Contorting, twisting, crippling, Making me hate all that everyone sees as love. Why is love shown as the color that induces death? The color that drew an angel away. The color that drew the last part, Of my first love away? How is love red when red stops? It halts, intrudes with it's imposed rules, Controlling the world as it moves. Why is love red?
In an Ivory gown, I waltz, To meet my maker, Or face my ultimate breaker. In the eyes of all those I trust, I see a conspiring plan, To share, universally, the feelings, In their new related form, That originally came from my heart. I vow to be there, In sickness and in health, And betroth myself to life, Imprisonment by betrayal, Regardless of my feelings, Without notice of my honesty, I marry myself to be hated, Suspected by my spouse, Harmed by my home bird. Betrothed to my Betrayal.
We enter the room. Car running in the center, Fuel tank pierced, Petrol dripping. He sits in the driver’s seat, You sit next to him. I find a match, A small piece of wood And with the first I light the second. Wood, unlit end first Pushed under the car. I get in the backseat. I cry, I'm scared. You look back. You nod. Smoke. No flames. No noise. No end. We enter the room. Car running in the center, Fuel take pierced, Petrol dripping. You take my hand Comforting my cries. I nod. He sits in the driver’s seat. You sit in the passenger’s seat. I light a plank of wood, I place it below the car. I sit in the backseat. I wait and wait. I'm crying and crying. You reach back. You give me your hand. You tell me you're sure, That you'll be there, You'll hold my hand to the end. That you've seen it, The cruelty of the world, That it's enough. We wait. No smoke, no fire. No end. We enter the room. Car running in the center, Fuel tank pierced, Petrol dripping. You hold me close. Lead me to the backseat. I sit, crying and broken. You sit beside me, Warm, comforting. You hold me while the pain Escapes through the silent, Distraught, and shattered sobs. He used the wood, To trail, Line, Trace. The petrol, his instrument, The final piece of art. He lights the end. He walks to the car. He sits in the driver’s seat. You stroke my hair as you watch Flames dancing in smaller circles That stop. Too Early. No continuance. No End. We enter the room. Car running in the center, Fuel tank pierced. Petrol dripping. You tell me it's okay. I listen. He takes my hand. He leads me forward. He knows what comes after. You sit in the driver’s seat. He and I trail the petrol. One straight line. We light the end. He sits in the backseat. I sit next to him. Calm, collected. You say nothing. You mean nothing. You show nothing. He holds me in an embrace. Kisses the top of my head. Tightens his grip around me. I know he loves me. You mean nothing in your silence. I look at you, Silently beg for a word, A murmur, a mumble. I ask for your hand. You move. You open the door. I beg you with my tears. You put your leg out. I crumple into him. You leave the car. His grip holds me. I call out your name. He comforts me. You walk away. He wipes every tear. You pause once. I look up. You walk on. He pulls me closer. You leave the room. The fire spreads, Engulfs - Consumes. You close the door. You regret. The car explodes. The flames dominate. He guides me on. He knows this place. He tells me he missed me. I grip his hand. This is it. The End.
Have you run out of words? Is that why there is silence, Empty, cold silence? Let me in, let me know, It's fair to assume I'll be there, I'm always here. Just Tell me. Use your words. The words I fondly look into, The words I see move slowly, Let their warmth back, please. Speak the truth, or even lie, Anything is better than nothing! Everything is better than nothing, Silence, like this, is unbearable. You can even tell me to go, I happily will, Just break the silence
the mystery of the heart something we all wish to understand yet become baffled by mumbling fools, the creation beauty, the cause a servitude of 'could haves' a lifetime of 'would haves' all meet to make a concoction of weak kneed wide eyed butterfly filled idiots all stargazing the bountiful sky.
I do not believe, Angels do not exist, Yet three protect me here, A fourth watches me. Thank-you. I love you all. For everything I am grateful, Eternally. I love you all, More than words. You are all angels. Whether here or above, My angels. I love you
See Above ^
If it were only possible, I would put it in a way, A concise, simple way, Then you'd understand. Then you'd know the fear, Of drowning with no water, When no droplets are present. Of feeling the air, empty, Leave your lungs, With no replacement breath. Then you'd see, That black shroud of an umbrella, I carry around with me. It doesn't close, won't or can't. I'm always under its covers. Then you'd notice it, When the sun shines through, I reach for it, try to grab it. But also how I hurt, When I can't take any with me. How terrible it is to see joy, Knowing how good it feels, But no feeling it. Then you'd feel the terror, The pure horror of loneliness. The madness it ensues, The longing it forms inside. But also the pain it causes, When the mind turns to itself, Filled only with hate, Wishing for pain. Then the guilt, Not for sin, for selfishness. Knowing others would be better At living this life than you, And yet, wanting so badly, Not to have it anymore.
Are you the one, With black hair, Or Blonde? I'm no longer sure. Are you the one, Who held me in my sleep, Or disturbs it? I am no longer sure. Who are you? Because you are not YOU
The Poet Armistead 