Yearly Archives: 2015

Why Does it Hurt?

Posted on by
Reply 
Why does it hurt to love you so much?
And know my love is not returned.
It's like being the beggar in a gallery,
Falling for a painting,
Knowing it will never be a centre-piece
In the hallway.

Why does it hurt to love you so much?
Knowing it's just my heart.
To see you in pain burns my soul,
Because you have no obligation to it,
No cause or reason, it feeds desire,
To protect, to comfort, to hold.

Why does it hurt to love you so much?
Even if I'm just another person.
No matter how much I think I know,
I will never be let it.
You torture yourself as I watch,
In this twisted horror picture show.

Why does it hurt to love you so much?
Yet I swear you just want my pain.
It is your desire to feel normal,
You listen, purely to know you're not alone.
Not to fully care I know.

Why does it hurt to love you so much?
To have had you in my arms,
To have been in your arms,
To have felt that content,
In myself, in my company. And yet,
Know it will never be mine

Rediscover

Posted on by
Reply 
Hearing your voice,
Made me rediscover:
The wonders of smooth jazz,
How the notes seamlessly,
Easily, twist and turn.
How the double bass,
With it's step ladder pluck,
Eases my soul.
How the saxophone,
Can take my emotions,
And blend them into one
Continuous flow of joy.

Hearing your laugh,
Made me rediscover:
The beauty of sunshine.
How it gives the gift of life,
Of light and growth.
How when I see it,
When I feel its warmth,
I am content and graced.
How its rays turn to my skin,
Bronzes it a soft golden tan,
And leaves tender kisses of health,
To my next few days.

Seeing your face,
Made me rediscover:
The beauty of all forms of art.
How an artist, with his brush,
Uses tone and shade as expression.
How a musicians plays,
With every ounce of himself,
Bearing all to an audience.
How a poet, takes words,
Not for granted, but as gift,
Tools from our cognitive ability,
To share, express, to feel.

Your warm embrace,
Made me rediscover:
Just who I am.
How my loyalty always stands,
For those I care about.
How I'd willing lay down my life,
To save, protect and guarantee,
My loved ones thrive.
How I see the world,
Observe people, watch closely,
To find the inner beauty,
Which all possess

One More Bottle of Wine

Posted on by
Reply 
Let's get a bottle of wine and talk about it over dinner,
It's going to be a hard pill to swallow.
I'll have to stick to my guns.

In fact, let's get two bottles of wine, one each,
You will probably hate me for what I'll say.
I've got to, for me, for once, be truthful.

Screw it, let's get a third bottle of wine.
This will be too hard to say without a drink.
I can do this, but I don't know if you can.

Sod it, three bottles of wine, but no dinner,
I don't want to cook.
The truth already fills my mouth,
Already churns my stomach.
Everything is going to change beyond belief.

Right, okay, three bottles of wine,
And we'll talk over the phone.
I can't sit and watch the truth sodomise your heart.
I have to say it out loud though.

Never mind. No Wine. No Dinner. No Phone call.
Just talking, painful, pitiful talking.
About how I can't do this,
It's time to walk away.
Time to leave.

Options

Posted on by
Reply 
I'll admit, I'm Picky,
Options don't suit me,
Choices are too many for my liking.
Two, three or over four,
I'm purely indecisive.

Staying is an option,
I'd be at liberty to take,
Should life stop pushing and pulling,
Because I'll be honest,
Leaving is the worst.

I'd say I love him,
But I'd be lying,
Especially when I know how I feel,
But I daren't say,
Life is not that easy.

I'd say I love you,
But my lips won't,
My heart betrays them like that.
The option's there,
My soul thinks so too.

One Last Goodbye

Posted on by
Reply 
The ground was meant to be the foundation,
But it swallowed my foundation whole,
Taking the last part of my will.

I could deal with not knowing,
I have my own place for you,
But now it's only
Trepidation in my gut.
No more butterflies,
No more tears.

Was I right?

Is that really where you are?
The real place you lie?
Even though you are in my heart.
I want to crawl beneath the surface world.
For one last goodbye.

Where

Posted on by
Reply 
Where should I stand,
In the corner?
Head bowed
Trying to prove my guilty side,
That it was always right?

Where should I stand?
Behind the pews?
Hands clasped
Asking for forgiveness from a god
That I never believed.

Where should I stand?
In the middle of the ocean?
Chest tight
Breath choked out of my lungs,
like the truth.

Where should I stand?
On a sandy beach?
Toes spread
Celebrating my only victory of
Conquering my own mind.

Where should I stand?
Before your eyes?
Nervous - shaking
Waiting to be judged - scolded,
Applauded - hated - loved.

Where do I stand?

Painful Shore

Posted on by
Reply 
The water trembles between my toes,
But the tide is yet to move,
Comforting solace repels the waves.
Sun holding itself from truth.

The sand here burns, melts away breath,
Chastising the silence, making it screech and bend.

But the water is cooling.
The tide is calming.
The waves bring comfort.
The sun still holds the truth.

The day time twists, pulling tightly,
Taking the last part of itself to keep for sure.

But the water has gone.
No tide exists, no waves.
The sun has set.

No Looking Back

Posted on by
Reply 
The roads are winding,
Green fields are forever passing by,
The highest buildings-
Tickling across the skyline.
No. Looking. Back.

New faces meeting kindly,
Old faces repressed and forgotten,
Habits lost with the new face,
Feelings fade in each new place.
No. Looking. Back.

No-one knows, no-one ever will,
It's our secret to keep,
I won't tell and I know you can't,
We'll both take it to our graves.
No. Looking. Back.

Time ran out, sand blew off.
The sun still burns my eyes,
The warmth that wraps you,
Wraps her tightly too.
No. Looking. Back.

I Don’t Want to Sleep

Posted on by
Reply 
If I close my eyes,
I'll lose that image,
Your smile will fade.

If the night consumes me,
I'll have to wait again,
Anticipate the morning,
Where I'll be closer again.

If the rest encompasses me,
I'll not be able to feel,
The soft movement of your breath,
The steady rhythm of your heart,
the tenderness of your touch.

If I fall into a dream,
Will I remember you're there?
Will you leave me in the night?
Will I move too far away?
Would you let go of me?
Would I even notice?

If I go to sleep,
Will you still look at me the same?
Would the night become a dream?
Will I still feel the same?
Will you still smile at me?
Will I wake up at home?
Will I still be happy?

I don't want to sleep.
This is the best dream I've had.
It can't stop.